1/20/16 3:57 AM
Psyche Tonight I’ve taken 1 mg Xanax in hope of sleep but it has not come. I’ve had sleep problems since 7/2 when I learned of a brother’s extreme difficulties and simultaneously was being harassed by another associate, whom I will call Ut. A psychiatrist Rx’ed sleep agents Mirtazapine and Trazodone but I’ve strayed from them now because the former has no effect I can see and the latter never causes sleep but leaves me dangerously groggy such that better I stay in bed next day chasing sleep than fall down, trip, either at home or abroad. Tonight, even the Xanax has no impact, hence 3:57 a.m. blogging. 1/19/16 night I slept w/o pills—but 2 beers with the beer battered chicken breast I fried. Next week my Home Health Care Aide starts twice/week to cook and clean for me and even take me to the doctor. I well remember that until about 1998 I did not believe that I ever felt stress. But now I take on significant, hopefully objective, assessment of my body and psyche often and as often, usually in retrospect, find evidence of hidden stress. The medical events starting in 2014 and culminating in 7/2/15 are a good example. In 2014-15, I had one surgical heart ablation, installation of a new ICD/pacemaker, an extremely risky and unsuccessful surgical attempt to remove a dead pacemaker lead, surgical removal of a plantar foot wart and at least two chest infections doctors feared were due to the dead lead. I started seeing my psychologist due to this fear. I knew I was stressed by then and began preparations for death. December 2014, there began a series of repeated, harassing “sharings” from Ut of stressful events of the past 30 years until I demanded they stop. These “sharings” clouded my mind and my outlook on life. The coup de grace for my stress was an email on 7/2/14 detailing my younger, schizophrenic brother’s dire situation. I almost felt a physical snap on the reading and could not bear reading it again. This and Ut’s “sharings” became constant and recurrent themes in my mind. I awoke with panic attacks nightly and our concierge called the ambulance thrice. Panic attacks stopped after 2 months and seeing my psychologist. But I could no longer get to sleep at night. Sleeplessness persisted until January 2015, after many courses of ineffectual Rx’ed sleep aides. Now I mostly get to sleep on my own. It seems my old sleep pattern, not really good in itself, is slowly returning.
Heart
My Congestive Heart Failure (CHF) has worsened considerably and I can walk at only a turtle’s pace. Any exertion—standing up, sitting up over 30 minutes, dressing, cooking—cause immediate shortness of breath and I must lie on my back nearly panting for up to 30 minutes. This is new information for me. Last month I went to the ER when this happened because I did not have the conceptual association shortness of breath with exertion. Today, 1/22/2016, I should weight about 160 lbs but am 176 as of this past midnight. That 16 pounds of excess liquid that my kidneys cannot process. It is started to fill my lungs causing shortness of breath. I will visit the ER to be diuresised, forced by IV diuretics to urinate a lot and thereby reduce weight. I figure that since I urinate average 3.5 liters in 24 hours with diuretics at home, if my body produces 10% of that amount of its own liquid daily via respiration and extraction from food, and at 179 lbs. I MUST diurested, and 1 liter of urine weighs 1 pound, and ER diurises about 6 pounds, equaling then in ER I lose 6 lbs/session, then I need to be dieurised every 3 weeks or so. As that extra, body produced liquid backs up inside me pill dieuretics lose effect because they cannot get through the extra liquid in my gut. Two activities back to back, e.g. getting dressed (which is extremely fatiguing, especially pulling on high top boots) then trekking to someplace outdoors makes me extremely fatigued such that I must rest every 15 feet en route. Might this begin a cascade that results in the immediate need for diuresis?
Body
However, there are significant and, for my doctors, I believe, unexpected complications from destruction of my microbiome via the many courses of antibiotics used before at least three surgeries last 2 years and associated infections in teeth and chest, and/or other things. Sans the good bacteria of my original microbiome all food causes extreme abdominal bloating and gas that impinges upon my lungs such that I cannot inhale. My primary, cardiology nor ER doctors credit this impingement and fill me with diuretics to urinate excess liquid my heart and kidneys can no longer fully process. I have recently found the FMT described here. Reading it is not for the squeamish—just the thought is yucky:
http://schaechter.asmblog.org/schaechter/2013/05/fecal-transplants-in-the-good-old-days.html
http://www.lamag.com/wellbeing/gut-feelings-fecal-transplants-gaining-ground/
KP on Sunset Blvd. does not do this procedure so I requested a referral to UCLA or other place that does. I have been told that referrals out of network are rarely endorsed. Last eve I got this from my GI doctor: “I'm sorry to hear that. Fecal transplant is not indicated for this condition unless this is specifically related to an infection called C. Difficile if it does not respond to typically antibiotic therapy. I will order a gastric empyting scan, which is a test done by radiology. We can also consider a test called a breath hydrogen test which will test for abnormal level of gas production by bacteria in your bowels. My scheduler can call you.”
Psyche Tonight I’ve taken 1 mg Xanax in hope of sleep but it has not come. I’ve had sleep problems since 7/2 when I learned of a brother’s extreme difficulties and simultaneously was being harassed by another associate, whom I will call Ut. A psychiatrist Rx’ed sleep agents Mirtazapine and Trazodone but I’ve strayed from them now because the former has no effect I can see and the latter never causes sleep but leaves me dangerously groggy such that better I stay in bed next day chasing sleep than fall down, trip, either at home or abroad. Tonight, even the Xanax has no impact, hence 3:57 a.m. blogging. 1/19/16 night I slept w/o pills—but 2 beers with the beer battered chicken breast I fried. Next week my Home Health Care Aide starts twice/week to cook and clean for me and even take me to the doctor. I well remember that until about 1998 I did not believe that I ever felt stress. But now I take on significant, hopefully objective, assessment of my body and psyche often and as often, usually in retrospect, find evidence of hidden stress. The medical events starting in 2014 and culminating in 7/2/15 are a good example. In 2014-15, I had one surgical heart ablation, installation of a new ICD/pacemaker, an extremely risky and unsuccessful surgical attempt to remove a dead pacemaker lead, surgical removal of a plantar foot wart and at least two chest infections doctors feared were due to the dead lead. I started seeing my psychologist due to this fear. I knew I was stressed by then and began preparations for death. December 2014, there began a series of repeated, harassing “sharings” from Ut of stressful events of the past 30 years until I demanded they stop. These “sharings” clouded my mind and my outlook on life. The coup de grace for my stress was an email on 7/2/14 detailing my younger, schizophrenic brother’s dire situation. I almost felt a physical snap on the reading and could not bear reading it again. This and Ut’s “sharings” became constant and recurrent themes in my mind. I awoke with panic attacks nightly and our concierge called the ambulance thrice. Panic attacks stopped after 2 months and seeing my psychologist. But I could no longer get to sleep at night. Sleeplessness persisted until January 2015, after many courses of ineffectual Rx’ed sleep aides. Now I mostly get to sleep on my own. It seems my old sleep pattern, not really good in itself, is slowly returning.
Heart
My Congestive Heart Failure (CHF) has worsened considerably and I can walk at only a turtle’s pace. Any exertion—standing up, sitting up over 30 minutes, dressing, cooking—cause immediate shortness of breath and I must lie on my back nearly panting for up to 30 minutes. This is new information for me. Last month I went to the ER when this happened because I did not have the conceptual association shortness of breath with exertion. Today, 1/22/2016, I should weight about 160 lbs but am 176 as of this past midnight. That 16 pounds of excess liquid that my kidneys cannot process. It is started to fill my lungs causing shortness of breath. I will visit the ER to be diuresised, forced by IV diuretics to urinate a lot and thereby reduce weight. I figure that since I urinate average 3.5 liters in 24 hours with diuretics at home, if my body produces 10% of that amount of its own liquid daily via respiration and extraction from food, and at 179 lbs. I MUST diurested, and 1 liter of urine weighs 1 pound, and ER diurises about 6 pounds, equaling then in ER I lose 6 lbs/session, then I need to be dieurised every 3 weeks or so. As that extra, body produced liquid backs up inside me pill dieuretics lose effect because they cannot get through the extra liquid in my gut. Two activities back to back, e.g. getting dressed (which is extremely fatiguing, especially pulling on high top boots) then trekking to someplace outdoors makes me extremely fatigued such that I must rest every 15 feet en route. Might this begin a cascade that results in the immediate need for diuresis?
Body
However, there are significant and, for my doctors, I believe, unexpected complications from destruction of my microbiome via the many courses of antibiotics used before at least three surgeries last 2 years and associated infections in teeth and chest, and/or other things. Sans the good bacteria of my original microbiome all food causes extreme abdominal bloating and gas that impinges upon my lungs such that I cannot inhale. My primary, cardiology nor ER doctors credit this impingement and fill me with diuretics to urinate excess liquid my heart and kidneys can no longer fully process. I have recently found the FMT described here. Reading it is not for the squeamish—just the thought is yucky:
http://schaechter.asmblog.org/schaechter/2013/05/fecal-transplants-in-the-good-old-days.html
http://www.lamag.com/wellbeing/gut-feelings-fecal-transplants-gaining-ground/
KP on Sunset Blvd. does not do this procedure so I requested a referral to UCLA or other place that does. I have been told that referrals out of network are rarely endorsed. Last eve I got this from my GI doctor: “I'm sorry to hear that. Fecal transplant is not indicated for this condition unless this is specifically related to an infection called C. Difficile if it does not respond to typically antibiotic therapy. I will order a gastric empyting scan, which is a test done by radiology. We can also consider a test called a breath hydrogen test which will test for abnormal level of gas production by bacteria in your bowels. My scheduler can call you.”